1. Wear sweats. Preferably a gray pair and preferably a pair baggy enough to to pass as Hammer pants. If walking in your outfit doesn't feel like you're still lying in bed, you're doing something wrong. Avoid anything that can be labeled as "fashionable" and stick to your school's colors. Extra points for a matching hoodie.
2. Ignore those moving metal vehicles on the roads. They're called cars, but that's irrelevant. You have places to go, beverages to consume. This is college! You are invincible and should act accordingly. Looking both ways was so four years ago.
3. Talk in semesters. Time is broken up differently on Big 10 campuses. There are no months. It's first semester, second semester or some sort of break. The year begins in late August and ends in early May**. This effectively eliminates any chance for students to make resolutions or consider themselves members of the real world. Advanced: the weekend starts on Thursday night. Tuesdays in good weather.
**Note: Northwestern is the exception and clear outcast of the Big 10.
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