Three Ways To Sound Like a Grammarian

1. Take a firm stance on the oxford comma (click here for background, click here for background music). Simply knowing the name of an obscure element of English grammar will impress and intimidate people. To keep from becoming the go-to grammar guru though, always complain about this one girl at your old job who apparently never learned how to punctuate copy. Like the time she used two semi-colons in one sentence. One sentence! Stop short of citing any real rules or standards of usage.

2. Moan loudly when you see a misuse of an ellipsis. Read: moan loudly nearly every time you see an ellipsis. [2a. Call it an ellipsis and not "dot-dot-dot"].

3. Dress. The. Part.